Updating...

Hola. Haven't been here for a minute. Been very busy, I joined Jenny Craig and I'm seeing some positive results, woo-hoo! Have also been working out like a maniac, so hopefully I can meet my October cruise weight loss goal. Must get ready for work now, toodles.

Today will be a challenge. There are chocolates in the office. I LOVE chocolate. And like a Lays potato chip I can't stop at just one :(

So far today I've been good, had fiber one cereal for breakfast (Shredded wheat). I figure that's 2-3 points, have to check. My coworker gave me some knish (sp?) which I haven't had in AGES and smelled delicious so she gave me a piece. And it is delicious, so I won't feel guilty about it. 3 points.

But now that I've indulged with the knish I must stay on track for the rest of the day. Any tips???

Short & Sweet

Its been a while. I meant to update this blog several times a week but it looks like I've missed two weeks now...

MJ - I'm very sad. Have been playing his music non-stop since he died. The neighbors must think I'm insane. May he R.I.P.

My hair: So I finally got some shea butter for sealing the other week and also bought Organic Root STimulator Olive Oil Mouisturizing hair lotion to obviously, moisturize. (Funny story, I was at Fine Fair and was looking for an olive oil based shampoo, I bought Olivella but it turned out to be the face and hand soap! But it actually is doing a nice job for my face....) I the shea butter nad Organic Olive Oil was wonderful! I washed my hair, used those produced and did bantu knots. I took them out and my hair was bouncy, soft and curly practically all week! And when I say SOFT, it was really soft without being greasy or messy. So tell me why the next week I didn't feel like doing my hair (I just co-washed it) and my hair was dry, brittle and not cute all week :/ One thing about natural hair is that you CANNOT be lazy, my hair is very sensitive and vulnerable I see! So yesterday I had my hair night and didn't even go out (it was rainy anyway), I co-washed with Queene Helene's Egg Cholestorol and put an old tshirt on my head to dry. Then I did medium size twists with the olive oil and shea butter. I rocked it all day today and will do a twist out tomorrow. Hopefully it will look nice. I just can't wait until my hair either gets a) thickier and/or b) longer so that I can wear twists to work.

My weight: Do I still have my weight ticker on the side? Anywhoo, I joined weight watchers about three weeks ago. My starting weight was 194. I was all inspired and motivated after the first meeting - I went grocery shopping and everything. And I kept track of points for all of, oh 2 and a half days!! Pathetic! I know it would probably help me lose weight if I would stick to the freakin' system. So the next week was a bust but last week I tried another meeting and vowed to keep track of my points. Still didn't happen. SIGH. But between my first meeting and the last I lost 3/5 pounds. It was due to the gym, I've been going 5 times a week. If I could just get my eating in order, man I will be in good shape for my cruise in October!

So now I should go and cook for the week so I don't have to worry about it. But I feel like taking a nap first :)

Stupid Hair Commercial/Overwhelmed

Before I forget - I was trying to find online this Garnier Fructis hair commercial that really offended me. You know those commercials where the actress has a bad hair day, uses Garnier and her hair becomes perfect. Typical hair commercial, and I rather enjoy their commercials. The bright colors, funky music, it works for me. I haven't used their products yet, but some naturals rave about them.

But the other day I saw one commercial, where the actress, a white woman, had a full out afro that was supposed to represent her BAD hair day. It was a huge but regular afro as far as texture. WTH? Her "perfect" hair transformation was sleek, shiny straight hair down her back.

I don't know why I'm acting surprised, like the media doesn't constantly denigrate african american hair, but it just surprised me that in this day and age, when more and more black women are choosing to wear their hair in natural states that Garnier would depict the afro as bad/unattractive hair. I wish I could post the commercial in case some haven't seen it. Hmph. Rant over.

****OH, one more thing. As I was searching for the Garnier commercial, I came across a Garnier ad, where there's a group of white (maybe one Latina) singing an r&b song about how lovely Garnier Fructis is. Its a full out pop/r&b video, dancing, clubbing, skimpy outfits and all. They even had a guest rapper to complete the song...MEMPHIS BLEEK! AHAHHAHAHA. It was SO wrong on so many levels! First of all I thought Memphis Bleek was supposed to be this hardcore rapper from "the roc". Sure he hasn't had a hit in damn near forever but still, doesn't he have ANY dignity? How can you go from rapping about hoes and selling drugs and being from the streets to rapping in a hair commercial??? Not to mention there were NO black WOMEN in that singing group, in fact, no other black PEOPLE in that video aside from him, but that's another topic for another day. I guess he doesn't mind being exploited as long as he gets that much needed check.

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So the rest of this post will just be a list of things I NEED to get accomplished but I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I don't know what making a list will do, but here goes.

SHORT TERM- Laundry
- Pay bills!!!
- Clean apartment
- Go to dentist
- Figure out what to do with my hair
- Cook
- Consolidate my student loans/ figure out more manageable repayment plan
- pick up contacts/order new glasses
- library

LONG TERM- Lose 45lbs (and update my ticker on this blog, I forgot my password so I can't edit it :( ) Thinking about joining Weight Watchers...
- Grow healthy, strong hair. Length would be the cherry on top
- Paint and otherwise decorate my apartment in a more cohesive fashion
- Get a cat
- Find cheap african dance classes
- Quit biting my nails to nubs
- Go to GYN (which will be slightly depressing since he always asks me why I don't have a man yet :( :( :( )
- Go to primary doctor re: shoulder and ankle pain
- Take a pottery or painting class
- Figure out how to balance work and the rest of life!!!!

Missing them

I really do miss my naps. I got a press n curl last weekend, just to see if I was making progress length wise. Ok ok and also b/c I haven't had straight hair since January and I was curious. It looks pretty thick and isn't breaking off the way it used to when I pressed it but I am not at all impressed with the length.

Which makes me miss my big hair and puff. And wearing random headbands and clips and twisiting my hair or slicking random parts down or whatever style I wanted. With my press I have been wearing it in a low ponytail everyday b/c I'm too lazy to put in curlers, can't use a curling iron (b/c it fell apart! and really I don't want to cause any more heat damage) and if I just wear it out, with this rainy weather we've been having it will just puff up immediately! For the first time since January I was actually ducking the rain today! It sucked!

So I'm going to wash my hair this weekend and go back to my froey hair. It was fun. I felt like my hair was more versatile, and when I wanted to go for a really dramatic and funky look (which is what I am all about this summer,) I could do it. AND, of course I won't have to worry about the gym or inclement weather.

Plus I have all these damn natural hair care products that are only 1/4 of the way used. I figure I should run threw all my products before I consider throwing in the towel and going back to the press on a regular basis...

Ok. I'm rambling now, just wanted to update. OH, and I just got some shea butter from 125th this past weekend, I oiled my hair with it on Monday or so and my joint is STILL shiny and soft, this stuff's amazing!!!

Update on the hair update

GOOD LORD!

So I took my hair down from the wrap. Its still not breaking off but its REALLY SHORT! AND UNEVEN!! AND THIN!!! I MAY CRY!! I'M JUST GOING TO CUT IT OFF AND START ALL OVER!

Oh man I thought for sure my hair would have grown or at least be the same length. I think its actually shorter than it was when I last pressed it in January. And its pretty thin at the ends, maybe the color I put in damaged it?? But I went to a natural hair care place for the color and they said the coloring was all natural, no chemicals...What am I doing wrong?!? WAHHHHH!!

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Update:

So I was trying to masquerade my thin looking short uneven limp hair by giving it some curls and my curling iron broke on me, peice by peice, screw by screw! It was funny but I am sad! One minute the freaking plastic that covers the metal where you put your thumb fell off. Five minutes later one of the screws fell out. Then the other screw, then a spring. WTH?!?!? Are the hair gods trying to tell me something?!?! So so sad....Thank God I have a flat iron!

My updated ramblings

Oh no! Haven't written in here regularly the way I'm 'sposed to. Will try to be more consistent.

So lots of things have been going on...I had an EXTREMELY busy work week, almost had a break down couple of days ago b/c I was so stressed out. But, (as usual), I made it through, no hospitalizations necessary. I need to have more faith in myself.

B/c of the busy week I did not hit the gym ONCE. My trainer will be oh-so-pissed when I see him on Sunday. I am going to go this morning just so I can tell him I've been at least ONE other time this week. My only saving grace is that I haven't been eating too poorly this week so I shouldn't be much heavier when I see him. The problem is that last week our training session was so intense that I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up this week. He likes to intensify our sessions as we go along...

What else...Oh I got a press and curl last night. Haven't had one since January. I wanted to see if my hair has grown and got any healthier since I stopped pressing it regularly. One for two. Its not longer but definitely healthier, I had practically NO SHEDDING at all, and I'm the shedding queen! I noticed about a week or so ago doing my natural hair that there wasn't as much breakage, so that is awesome. I think to get some length I have to come up with a better cleaning and conditioning regimine now, but I am on my way! And I miss my naps already....

C has been out of work a whole 2 weeks. I heard through the grapevine that he will be back next week. I really miss him. Can't say the same for him though, he hasn't called or texted or emailed or anything. This is what happens when you become attached to unavailable men.

Hm. Well I could ramble about other things but I should get moving. Have a lot to do today, I'm going with my BFF to a conference about childhood abuse, then going BBQ tasting and then on a midnight boat cruise! And I think I still need an outfit for the cruise. Its an all white affair and I don't have all white outfits. I am afraid to (and usually do) get them dirty. Adios.

Are you on the payroll??!?

So there's this dude at work. We call him "Hustleman". He has been hanging around our offices since 1985 apparently, but no one knows WHAT he does or why he's so cool with the big-wigs here. He's "hustleman" b/c he's always peddling bootleg cds, t-shirts and concert tickets. At first he weirded me out but since my supervisors were cool with him randomly stopping by our office close to quitting time, using our computers, chilling, I figured I should be cool with him too.

So for the past three years I've gotten to know Hustleman better and am finally cool with him. It's gotten to the point where he almost exclusively uses my computer when he comes by the office. And its to look at random pictures of him and celebrities or half naked chicks :/ But this would only happen once or twice every two weeks so I never used to mind.

But now its becoming a problem. Every other day he's at my office a little after 5, waiting for me to leave so he can use my computer. Today he actually asked me, "When are you leaving." *Fuming* My office mate said that's what internet cafes are for! Since he's so close with celebrities and everyone loves him, can't he hook himself up with a computer?! If he's on the go then a laptop with wireless internet? The worse is that this morning when I came I was looking through my sent emails in my Outlook account and saw that he was sending emails from my account!!! I know I have to say something, I just hate confrontation. And I really don't mind him using my computer when I'm not here, I just hate that it seems like he's starting to feel entitled to use my computer, when he DOESN'T EVEN WORK HERE!!!!

Oh well. I will hurt his feelings but I must have the talk with Hustleman tomorrow. Today he left all down b/c I wasn't getting off my computer soon enough for him I guess. How did I let this happen?? LOL

In other news...I'm supposed to be getting drinks tonight with my friend but she hasn't called to confirm. If I don't hear from her by 7 I'm leaving work and heading to the gym! Hmph.

Ugh...

Not having a good day. I getting a cold. Still haven't seen C. And I got roped into gossip and I think the object of the gossip knows I was gossiping about her! Well I wasn't roped, I didn't have to engage in it, but I did. Ugh. I'm so not a gossip usually, I don't know what came over me. I wasn't doing it to be mean, was just agreeing with some not-so-flattering comments my supervisor made about this person. I think someone overheard and then told the object of the gossip b/c she started looking at me funny :( :( :( Maybe its all in my head? Maybe I'm being paranopid? I hope so. I feel bad :(

Going Out

I love going out. I think the best part is preparation.

I love dancing around to music while doing my hair and makeup. I love trying on clothes (this is a much more pleasant experience when I'm lighter) and thinking of outfits. I love the anticipation that the preparation brings...I'll meet a cute guy or two...have a drinky drink...laugh with my girlfriends...hopefully cut a rug and sweat out my hair, somehow get home and collapse on my bed.

Sometimes all of my hopes are met. Sometimes just one out of the many. That's why preparation is always the funnest part and a guaranteed good time for me. Right now I'm waiting for my nails to dry. Hope I'm not messing them up as I type this...

So I twisted my hair this morning before I went to the gym and will wear a twist-out tonight. Hopefully it will come out ok, but I never know with my hair :( But I've been learning how to rock my hair and pull off acceptable hairstyles when my hair is being its most difficult, so I'm not too worried. If worse comes to worse I'll always have my trusty puff :)

Think I'm going to take a nap before Saturday night preparation begins...

Hello Again

I will make a more formal re-re-introduction later but I need to comment on the last post I made -

UGH! 5 months ago I was so excited about this "certain someone". So many dreams, fantasies all came crashing down! Sure I have kissed, hugged, held hands and freakin' SPOONED with this person, but its all for naught. *crying* Will explain in more detail later. I just think its funny how naive I was in late December. And stupid. Ugh.